Presentation 13. One last thing (for you to read)
This presentation has been about bringing more awareness to what has been labelled ‘Attachment theory’ and using neuroscience to back it up. I have now been told that it is too ‘clinical’ and that it lacks the spiritual aspect of who this infant is for e.g. ‘Science’s coldness takes away the warmth of our humanness’ – this was furthest from my intention.
From a spiritual perspective we do not arrive in the world with a clean slate. Each one of us arrives as a unique being and will develop according to that uniqueness. The better the attachment to ones infants and children the more likely they will maintain that uniqueness, that sense of feeling secure, which in turn will help deal with the trials of life when they grow up. Not good enough parenting takes infants away from being themselves and impairs their ability to deal with the problems they will inevitably face. To quote again from the article in London’s Guardian newspaper I read in the beginning video, ‘John Bowlby’s research into how children can become secure, well adjusted people – or not – needs to be known not just by psychologists, but by all of us, especially parents-to-be. It is probably more relevant to a successful life than many subjects that are presently offered at schools; and by teaching attachment theory and child development we would be giving society as a whole a better chance……’
Bowlby’s research started 60 years ago and one has to wonder why it has taken this long to be noticed. Perhaps it is because only in recent times neuroscience is backing it up but I think that there is a deeper reason. That reason is a lack of responsibility, by administrations that deal with infants, and by mothers, to accept the importance of attachment theory. To take responsibility for this would mean a major upheaval of social organisations and parental lifestyle.
I remember being absolutely gobsmacked some time back when some female French politician was back at work two days after having a baby. I mean why did she bother? That of course was extreme but judging by the number of mothers who find motherhood boring and lonely, it’s not so unusual – they can’t wait to put their new baby in a day care centre so they can get back to work. Given the repression of women for the last few thousand years it isn’t surprising that they want to break out and be a voice in the workplace, only attachment theory and neuroscience has shown that this could be a recipe for insecure attachment and its associated problems so much forethought is needed. Studies show that if an infant/toddler is happy in daycare and has not had separation distress problems, that environment would improve his/her social skills, be more developmentally stimulating and that they be more independent than stay at home children, providing he or she gets warm attuned parenting when they get home
It’s my hormones
There is an organisation called Teens and Toddlers who offer the opportunity to teenagers to care for infants in crèches after school. The pregnancy rate amongst these teenagers has dropped dramatically as they realise that being a mom isn’t all it made out to be. Its seems that the out of control hormones of teenagers suddenly take time out to rethink the idea of having babies. Go to www.teensandtoddlers.org
If you would like to be advised when the expanded version of this comes out please email me by clicking here. (Your address will not be shared)
Please pass this around – the video on the home page is coming up to 100,000 hits. One million for this one will mean a lot more infants will benefit.
Thank you. Colin