Q. I feel so terribly guilty now having watched the DVD because some child expert told me that that this is what I had to do. I feel I have damaged him for life.
Ans. Nobody is going to get it completely right and we will damage our infants, just as we ourselves have been damaged – the idea is we try to do as little damage as possible. So we need to accept that we did what we did with the information that we had available to us at the time and perhaps let others know this new data so they don’t make the same mistake.
Q. Are you saying that what happens to us in infanthood is the reason we are the way we are?
Ans. No, not altogether. But it plays a major role as to how we turn out. Naturally how we are received by our class mates and the people around us plays a big part as we grow up. Traumatic experiences naturally affect us as well. There are other reasons why we are the way we are but the purpose of the DVD was to give the basics. As I said, the more parents understand their infants, the stronger their infant’s foundations will be, and the more effective they will be in life when they grow up.
Q. What is the unconscious mind?
Ans. Our unconscious mind is that part of our mind that stores bad memories of what has happened to us from the past. While we cannot remember those occurrences we are affected by them when something in the present reminds us of that past incident. Someone’s negative behaviour towards us, for example, may remind us of similar behaviours of a parent that emotionally hurt us.
Q. Are you saying that we can access this infant part of us?
Ans. In many cases – yes
Q. Why would you want to access these memories if they are so hurtful?
Ans. Because once they are exposed and in the open they lose their power over us – and we are likely to become more of who we really are – loving, kind and with less ‘issues’.